I Need God

The fact is, I believe in God. I do, with every fiber of my being. Sometimes I doubt, wondering why He made things so confusing. I begin to ask questions. What blessed moments are these! For at these times, my old misconceptions break down.  I see better who He is.

The intellectual life of the nation and the Western world has moved beyond God. They have progressed from point to point, watching the philosophical arguments for God collapse like dominoes. Galileo challenged the world Dante so vividly portrayed, centered on earth. No! Heresy, they cried! Yet God remained. Then Newton came along, challenging another precept. No longer did God keep the planets in their orbit, but gravity did. Fewer cries of heresy this time, for God remained. While, the earth may not be the center of the universe and gravity may explain a lot, but the fact is, God created the birds and the bees. Then Darwin comes crashing in with his theory of evolution. The cries of heresy begin to arise anew. God seems to be backed into the corner. Does God still remain? Einstein and the physicists of the 20th century come along and seem to tear to shreds the last few proofs. Where is God now?

It seems now that the intellectuals sing the song of Nietzsche, "God is dead." And we have killed him.

Yet I believe. I, who have grown up admiring Einstein, Darwin, Newton, and Galileo. I, who dreamed of being a paleontologist, a physicist, an astronomer, a boy feeding on the discoveries of the men who systematically pulled down the proofs of God. Why?

Because of the questions. Those doubts arise, and I begin to ask, as these brilliant men did, what is behind it all? I have not discovered any fundamental equation that describes the movement of the planets or of light. But I have discovered the equation that moves hearts.

Science is based upon observation. I observe my life and here I find my proof of God. The questions arise, so I do as He suggests. "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself," (John 7:17) Why? Because He makes promises. "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love" (John 15:10). What occurs when I do as he suggests? I abide in love. It surrounds me, enters within me, and then emanates from me. This is the hand of God, far more powerful an evidence than the words, "In the beginning" and all the follows after. This is no scientific truth ready to be peer-reviewed. It is intensely personal. And, yet, everyone of my peers can "review" this process. All can accept the invitation.

Perhaps this world wide era of intense doubt and questioning is like my periods of doubt. Perhaps the world is simply shaking off misconceptions about a deterministic God and other such nonsense. They realize now that God does not live in proofs. They do not need God to explain the origin of man, the planets, or light. But perhaps all will yet recognize the need for God as the origin of order, truth, and love.

To abide in love. For this, I need God.