So, just to let people know I'm still alive, I just want to post my feelings about the seasons right now. I'm excited because now we start a month of celebrating one of the most important events in the history of the world- the birth of Christ. The only thing that is more important is His death and resurrection. Happy holidays!

Alright, my sister has challenged me and I have to revisit my last entry. So often what our society considers love at first sight isn't really love. But does it follow that love at first sight never happens? Aren't there examples of couples who within a few days knew that they were in love? I'm sure there are. If there weren't any successful relationships like this, I don't think it would be such a prevelant idea. So what makes love at first sight more than lust? Having such little experience in love, I really have no idea. But I have a feeling it might have something to do with the Spirit of God. Perhaps when there is a relationship that God knows will cause great happiness to His children, He'll kind of push it along through the Spirit. Now, the only way those involved can really know is to pray and fast. What if they don't share my faith? Than I have no idea. I'm glad the only love life I have to worry about is my own, because I have few answers. Alright I better get to my homework.

oh, bytheway, in case anyone actually visits this blog, check out my sister's at www.bethanyp.blogspot.com.

I haven't written for a while. I guess I felt that the blog was stealing stuff that should be in my journal at home. That's more permanent anyway. And who is going to read his blog? Who does? But I sit and write anyway.

Romanticism v. Rationalism...which side do you stand on? Or is it absurd to even consider that you must stand on one side? Who thinks completely rationally and who merely follows their emotions? But if it is a matter of degree, I think I belong to rationalism. I can be a pretty romantic guy, but I follow my thoughts more than I follow my feelings.

Romanticism can be absurd. Take Romeo and Juliet for example. A very Romantic story. But competely irrational. Two people meet, get married, have sex, and then kill themselves, all in three days. Anyone who would throw their life away because of someone they met three days before is mindless. All it is is lust! But there's something to be said for the story too. It keeps us from thinking that life is all about, "What do I get out of it?" Never mind. I don't agree with that. It actually is a very selfish act that they kill themselves. "Oh, I can't go on without her!" Wait a second, would she want you to kill yourself? Not if she really loved you. She would want you to live a long, prosperous life, right? Romeo and juliet are only considering their own feelings. And their "love" is merely lust. That is an undeniable fact. What is love? Love is caring for someone so deeply that you will do anything for them. But loving someone to the point that you want to marry them involves knowing them. And getting to know someone involves something more than kisses, sweet words, and a bed. How many couples on their 50th anniversary tell you that they got married a day after they met? How many successful relationships come from a boy asking a girl to kiss him as soon as he sees her? When you see a girl, or guy, do you automatically see that they have all the qualities needed for a good marriage? Or are you merely attracted to them because of the physical aspect? Isn't it obvious? Why did Romeo "love" Juliet? Because she was beautiful. Physical attraction is lust. And that is all Romeo and Juliet ever felt for each other. They never knew each other. Not mentally or emotionally. Many would argue with me. Why does love have to automatically be associated with marriage? That's simple. Because people mate for life. People who jump from marriage to marriage are not happy. How come depression has increased with the divorce rate? How come suicide rates are up? Our entire society's view of love is based on the ideas of a man who married a woman many years his senior and who was already pregnant. Am I passing judgement and saying Shakespeare was a bad man? I believe that Shakespeare was a product of his times and his station in English life. His own morals are based on those of his society. But that means even more so that our understanding of love should not follow his. Nor on those of our own society. Because many people do, however, many marry for lust and the marriage falls apart. That is the best reason, the most widespread fo the rising divorce rates. Yes there are other factors, considering divorces have been occuring for most of recorded history, but today there are many more and something has to account for this.

The World Trade Center...The sit where the towers stood has become this nations wailing wall. Thousands of people travel there to visit this sight of one of our countries greatest tragedies. How many people have stood at that site and shed tears for the lives and the lifestyle lost on that day?

General Conference...yesterday and today I have been a witness to a historical event. This event, General Conference, is completely unique to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Every six months all the members of the church gather in meetinghouses, homes, and the church Conference Center in Salt Lake City to hear from our prophet and apostles. The meeting, held in the humungous Conference center, which seats something like 12,000, is broadcast over the internet, satellite and cable tv and the radio to most of the world. To those it does not reach in this manner, all the talks of the 5 sessions are printed in church magazines. As far as I know, no other church has its leaders communicate to the entire congregation in this manner. And hearing from the prophet is simply a miracle. Never in the history of the world has there been a time that the church has expanded to all the world. Always the church has been found in isolated areas and would eventually apostatize. Now, the gospel has been taken to every inhabited continent and it will never again be taken from the Earth. General Conference, represents this amazing time in my mind. E-mail me if you have questions.

Friday...is there any possible way to describe what this day means to me? Perhaps not. After a long week of school work and waiting for the weekend, I finally have my night and two days of rest and relaxation. It's so nice to come home and think, "I don't have anything to turn in tomorrow. I don't have to do any homework, no essays, no studying. I can relax and sit back, enjoy a book, write in my blog, go to my cast party...."
The cast party...It's here! The cast party, my last chance to see everyone together again. I'm going to miss the play. The last entry I started with the idea of writing just what this play has meant to me, but I had to stop before I had the chance. Well, I don't want to get into detail of how it affected my personal life, but I will mention what it has done for my faith and belief in the Gospel and those who have gone before me in defending the faith.


It's a clear nght out on the plains by the Arkansas River. Along the waters, the fires of the Mormon Battalion are scattered, reflecting the random pattern of stars above them. A young man sitting beside one fire stares up at the stars, wondering, "Are they out there, looking at these same stars at this same moment?" While he is sitting, pondering this question, one of his companions begins singing,

"Why should we mourn,
or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so, all is right."

One by one, the men sitting around the fire join in,

"Why should we think
to earn a great reward
if we now shun the fight?"

Campfire by campfire, the chorus swells as the song sweeps through the rest of the camp,

"Gird up your loins,
Fresh courage take,
Our God will never us forsake.
And soon we'll have
This tale to tell
All is well
All is well."

Few eyes are dry this night as the men, young and old, think of their families somewhere out on the plains and wonder, "Are they out there, looking at these same stars at this same moment?"


This is my heritage, the Mormon Battalion, the saints crossing the plains. My ancestor, David Pulsipher, if this story were fact, could have been that boy. My family, the family of John Pulsipher, was out there. Zerah and John, as far as I know, were involved in all the major events of early Latter-Day Saint history: Kirtland, Far West, Nauvoo. There example, the way they kept their faith despite all the persecutions and diffuculties, has inspired me.
And, to bring this full circle, I was glad to pay them my respects by being a member of the Mormon Battalion in the play. As an honor to David, I used his name for my character. Being in the play, I spent much of my time reflecting on the experiences of David while he was in the Battalion. That is how I came up with the little story I wrote. Well, time to "gird up my loins" and do the work of my generation. Write me if you've got comments.

Two months ago, I started a play for my church. I wasn't sure about it. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know anything about it, and I'd never been in a play before (not counting small little ward plays and road shows.) Tonight I practically cried saying goodbye to everyone. I'm gonna miss this play so much. Tonight was another set of goodbyes in a long summer of goodbyes.

Two years ago, 6:25 AM- I am in the car of a neighbor, picking up a friend on the way to school. As this friend climbs into the car, he exclaims, "World War 3 just began!" "What?" We all give him quizzical looks and he explains himself, "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center."
I didn't believe it. Well, I should be more clear- I didn't understand it. I'd never been on a plane before. I'd never seen, up close, the World Trade Center towers. What did a plane crashing into them mean to me? I had no idea the horror just unleashed on this country. The reality of the situation didn't hit me until I was in my first period English class and I saw the footage. By then the second plane had crashed into the towers. I saw it over and over, the first tower in the foreground with black smoke billowing out and then a plane disappearing into the second tower. For a second it doesn't seem that anything happened. Then fire, huge red and orange flames, large enough, probably, to destroy several blocks here in suburbia, explodes out of the building. Later, I watched people running through the streets with clouds of dust following them. What's going on, I think? Then they show the towers collapsing. These two citadels of modern mankind, two symbols of capitalism and global economy, symbols of freedom, symbols of prosperity, symbols of America, crashing down onto a city that represents America to all the world. A scene that has never before been witnessed in the world. A scene never imagined on American soil.
It couldn't be real, how could someone do this, how could it happen? Why? Many lost their faith in God. Many found their faith in God. Lives were lost, lives were changed. Patriotism abounded. Debate began, war began, politics entered the picture. No collapse of economy followed. It faded. People forgot. Tuesday is just another day now. What did my school do? The choir sang before school started. Many people ignored them. The principal spoke over the intercom during first and played a second-rate country song about the attacks.
The most touching tribute I witnessed was the class I T.A.'d for fifth period. The teacher brought out a poem she wrote on September 11 and read it to us. Then the class wrote in their journals about how their lives have changed since 9\11. Being the T.A., I did the work the teacher had given me at the start of class, I didn't write in a journal. So the question remains, how have I changed in the past two years?
I'm an American. I am part of a family line that has lived here since the 1600's. My ancestors have fought in every American war since the Revolution. I have stories written about the Revolutionary War written by ancestors. I am descended from a Mormon Battalion member. My grandfathers fought in World War II and Korea. Today my cousins fight in Iraq.
The Mormon Battalion member was my age when he left his family on the plains at a time that they greatly needed him. When the Mormons were chased out of thier homes by mobs, their pleas were ignored by the government. An extermination order was signed by the governor of Missouri. When the country which had scorned and rejected them called for their service, however, my people freely gave it. They sent 500 of their strongest men on a march to California at a time when they needed them the most.
So, do I have an obligation to support and serve this country? My ancestors and countless thousands of others gave up the greatest gift they could, their lives, so I could live in the freedom and prosperity I live in today. Should I spurn this this country because it is dedicated to peace and liberty for all? Should I disrespect and defame the president and the laws of the land I live in, despite the blood spilled for it? What greater insult could I pay to those who have fought for Amerca. I support this country with all my heart, might, mind, and strength. If duty called me to it, I would fight for it. I would give up my life for it.
"Greater love hath no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends."- John 15:13

Ok, here's a little article about Bush's speech urging Congress to give more freedom to police to combat terrorism: War on Terror. I have to say, giving even more freedom to police sounds dangerous to me. Yes, we need to protect our lives and well-being, but more importantly, we need to protect our liberties and rights. Yes, we must fight terrorism, but will we ever wipe it out completely? No, because we have an ideology that goes against the basic beliefs of much of the worlds population. The only way to stop terrorism completely would be to wipe out those beliefs that conflict so much with ours. Yet, to do that would be to tear down the entire basis of our entire society. So, how could we ever possibly win the war on terrorism without becoming a totalarian state? So, keep on fighting for our liberties, but don't take them away because we aren't winning fast enough. We will be fighting this war for decades, centuries to come.

Ok, here's my thoughts on trust. This is kind of a reply to my friends blog. Check out the link. Trust is a difficult concept, one which most people never truly understand. I don't have the concept quite down myself. Being only 16, that makes sense. I happen to be a very trusting guy, extremely trusting, and so far I've been blessed to not have had that trust broken yet. I know, however, that it will happen. I will have a good friend in which I feel I can confide or I will trust to do something for me, and that promise, that trust will be broken. It's funny how I can look towards that event, knowing it will come, but I don't do anything, I don't get more picky with my trust. Why? Because it is my nature to trust. It is part of my personality to see through people's faults and see their strengths.
Yet, I consider myself a judgemental guy. That is, I am far too ready to judge people based on what I've heard about them or how they look. A problem on which I need to work. How do I see through people's faults? If I meet someone that I haven't had a chance to build up an opinion of ahead of time, then I am blind to their faults. I can befriend many people. But if I have heard a lot about them, sometimes I won't take the time to really get to know them, I'll just continue using my assumptions based on what I've heard. This is not a good habit and I must break it.

Maybe they should put this guy in charge of reconstructing Iraq: NY Times article

War...The war in Iraq has been a difficult subject. My friends at school have argued with me about it many times. I was in strong support of it. I believe that what we did there was right. Perhaps things are difficult now, but what do you expect from an uneducated and formally oppressed republic? Do you think that they will just calmly accept everything that is happening? Why would, after years of poverty, suppression and starvation, accept people they have been brainwashed to hate? And without the dictatorship, they now have the freedom, as they see it, to release all the anger and hate they have built up over the years. There is no possibility that our situation in Iraq would be calm and peaceful. Americans just have to accept that in doing the right thing, people may and will die. That does not mean that it is the right thing. Should the colonists have stopped the revolution just because of the atrocious death rate? Should the Union soldiers have let the Southern states secede just because tht was the bloodiest war on American soil? Should we have let Germany conquer Europe during either of the World Wars just because we were losing thousands of men? Why should we not have gone in to defend the rights of Iraqis then? Is it not our duty as the sole superpower in the world to protect others? As I once read, maybe the world needs someone to police it. If we let dictatorships run loose merely because we feel it is not our place to interfere, merely because we don't want to die, then the crimes of those evil men will be placed on our heads. We have the power to crush oppression. We have the power to help other countries rise to our level. It is our duty. Future generations will not fault us for sacraficing ourselves for others. That is called love and charity. We Americans, in all our riches and slothfulness, seem to have forgotten that our ancestors fought and died for something called liberty, not just for themselves, but for all men.

Ahhh, the school year. Take that as a scream of horror or a sigh of contemplation, however you view it. After 11 years of seeing this school system make a mockery of education, I have finally reached the level in which they consider me worthy of true teachers who can teach. For almost the first time in all the years I've been going to school, I am looking forward to a year with these teachers and coming out of my classes with an increased awareness of my capabilities and increased understanding of the world around me. It's funny that they don't think we should recieve this at the first levels of public education. Instead, the only time you deserve to learn is after you have reached the highest level.

Alright, I'm being a little unfair. I had a few excellent teachers before I reached the A.P. level, but I still think the government, federal, state, and local, could do much better. Two years ago, I entered high school life. As I came to fully realize the workings of the schools and school systems, I finally understood just how bad of shape California and the nation's educational system is in. And now, as the state hits a financial crises, what do they cut first? Education. Probably the most vital thing to saving this state is its future politicians, scientists, and everyday laborers, and what does the government do to this vital tool for ending power crisis like this? They cut funding. How can they do that? Why not use all the money from the lottery like they are supposed to? Oh wait, they took that away and put it into other things. How about cutting the salaries of state workers? Just take away a few cents or dollars and millions could be saved. Or stop wasting money on dumb research projects and tests telling us what we already know: our school systems need help! or we are getting fat, or the nuclear family is falling apart. Why not stop wasting money to officially find this out and use that money for solving the problem. Anyway, by being a little frugal, the legislature and Davis would be able to save education and still ride out the crises without going bankrupt. Please, if you have views on this, e-mail me at ldskidsix@hotmail.com.

I fixed my computer. The system finally became so unstable that it completely crashed. I ended up having to reformat my hard drive. Luckily, I was able to back up my files, so everything important has been saved. It's late here, so i'll only write a little. A difficult thought for me lately has been whether we all are equal. We do all deserve the same rights and oppurtunities, but people don't have the same abilities and skills. Have we, as a nation, been taking equality too far? One easy is example of overdoing it is what is happening with women. They have broken a social barrier and been able to vote and work and lots of other stuff, but now they are fighting to remove the woman image from the mother image. Is this a good thing? For all of recorded human existence, women have been the caretakers and men have been the providers. It is in our genes. If you don't see this by the way each sex acts, you've got to work on your observational skills. But, now women are trying to break this pattern. And this is one of the forces out of many that is tearing apart our society. So are men and women really equal? Well, yes, importance wise. But as far as what each of us is best at? No. Men are naturally better at providing for the family and being the head of the household and women are naturally better at taking care of the home and family. That is fact. Sometimes it isn't like that and that's ok, but those are rare cases.

Painting...So, we finished the mural today. It looks pretty good. There are a few spots where it's a little messed up, but what do you expect of choir students? We may have talent musically, but as far as using our hands...only a few of us have any talent there. The important thing, though, is that we are done. We don't have to go back and paint any more. It was fun, but it was taking away from time which I need to be spending on AP summer assignments.

Socializing...Today was a good test of how my social skills have improved. I had a chance, after we finished painting, to meet two girls named Ashley and Marie. They helped me remember how easy it is to talk to new people, even at school where I'm not surrounded by other Mormons. There is often this fear high school kids have of talking to new people. I think it's either a fear of being rejected or a pride they have. Many think, "Oh, I don't need to talk to these people. I'm better than them. The only people worthy of my conversation are the 'popular' friends I already have." But it's suprising how easy it is to meet and talk to new people. And how rewarding. Once, back in junior high and the beginning of high school, I had a difficult time with friends. I didn't have any one to really hang out with, no group which I could call my own. Many of the friends I hung out with at school would plan tons of stuff during the weekends and on holidays and I was often left out. Now things have changed, though. I have a circle of friends, many of them I consider close friends. We get together a lot of times and I've found a way around not being invited. It's very simple- plan everything yourself. By doing this and my being more outgoing and as good a guy as I can be, my social life has made a complete reversal. Now I'm never lonely and I'm invited every where with my friends. Patience and a perseverence and just being who you are pays off, though the rewards may not be immediate.

Painting...I didn't used to enjoy it, especially when we did my house, but now I'm having fun. It probably has to do with the amount of painting and the environment. The past two days I've been helping paint a mural on the wall of my choir room. It's been fun hanging out with friends and, as I said, I've enjoyed the painting part. ...this is a boring topic.

Making a stand...Being with friends has been fun, but it's a little weird being back with people who think so differently from me. For most of the summer, when I've gone camping and on trips and stuff, I've been surrounded by fellow Mormons. They all have the same belief and though each of us have varying opinions on things, we all pretty much agree on the basics of what's right or wrong, such as seeing rated R movies or homosexuality. I've had that in common with all these people. Now, being back with friends from school who come from either a variety of religions or no religion, I have to deal with people who have no qualms going to see movies like American Wedding and who don't see anything immoral about homosexuality. It's interesting to hear their thoughts and opinions. I think I'm going to learn a lot this year. Now, I'm never going to think seeing R movies or being homosexual is ok, but I think I'll learn to deal better with people of the opposite persuasion.

Homosexuality...I figure I broached the subject, so I better persue it and explain my ideas on this extremely controversial subject. Just to make sure, I am stating my own opinion on the matter. I do not speak for the church. I use church doctrine for the basis of my answer, but my answer is my understanding of the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I first have to say that the Lord has commanded us to love all men. And I do my best. I am just as willing to be friends with a homosexual as I am to be with a hetero. But I will never accept their sexual preferences. God ordained marriage between a man and a woman. Within a marriage, we have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth. This is the purpose of sex. Not pleasure, though that is part of this wonderful gift of God, but the giving of life. Misusing of this gift of life is up there with murder, the taking away of life. So, performing homosexual acts, or in other words, misusing our sexual organs purely for pleasure, is going against the commandments of God.
"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." -The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Here's a quick post. I've been thinking about people's opinions. I listen and respect the opinions of the people I know and I agree with many. We have great discussions about politics, religion, all that great stuff. I usually come away a little gratified, knowing that I'm not alone in what I think, or I learn something new and my opinion changes. Of course, it's not always like that. I am human and I have disagreements. But they are never serious and I only come away mildly annoyed. And then I read the newspaper. I swear, the letters in the opinions page are put in their specifically to inflame anger. I'll agree with some of them and be able to ignore others, but most of them make me so angry that I can't read anymore. It's all those people who can only complain about what a terrible job Bush is doing and what a crime it was to go into Iraq and men are evil destroyers of the environment and how evil America is. Those are the opinions I don't understand. It would be ok if they offered alternatives. I mean, it's simple. I don't like choice A(representing Bush, or the war in Iraq, anything, you name it) so I propose choice B because...and the reasons are given. But people who just keep harping about choice A, they get on my nerves. If you don't like it, then tell me what's better! If they do that, I probably still won't agree with some of them, but at least they will be a whole lot less annoying.

Status of computer: Doing a little better, yet a little worse. Instant updater for VirusScan has been fixed with a quick reinstall, but now my computer crashes every 15 minutes or so and blue screens. Heck, what am I writing this for, this is for tech support, not a blog.

A little more about my summer. Being Mormon, I went to EFY in June. It's a big youth camp that has classes, provides oppurtunities for service, and is just about the funnest thing I've ever done. I learned alot about my self and began going out of my way to meet and get to know people. I've learned, through that experience and throughout the rest of my summer, that people and friends are extremely important. They make life what it is. Not classes and grades and computers and swimming, but people. "Well, duh!" you say, "Everyone knows that." See, the strange thing is, I didn't know that. I knew it intellectually, but many things you just have to experience to really know. And I think I'm not aone in this world in not realizing this simple little fact of life. If I were, I doubt wwe would have so many problems. I mean, if Saddam knew that people make life what it is, would he really have been a mass murderer and cared so much about oppressing people to keep on power? And would so many politicians be so intent on keeping issues alive so they can use them for elections, rather than solving them. These power-hungry men and women don't understand that they are hurting the poeple that could be making their life wonderful. Maybe someday those who come into power will understand, really understand, how improtant it is to have principles.

Principles...people and interactions with them give life meaning, but principles are what make life happy. I remember reading a book called 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens or something like that. This book proposed that the only way to have a stable and happy life is to center life on our principles. By centering everything on ideas like honesty, charity, kindness, and stuff like that, anyone can be happy and successful. I agree. Those ideals are hard to live by, but being raised a Mormon and being in the Boy Scouts, I have been taught to live in this way all my life. And am I happy? Not all the time, of course. No one is. But I look around at my friends who live different lifestyles and I can see the pain and troubles they go through. It's harder for them. Now, maybe life put them down a tougher road than me. That's probably true, but I think I have avoided many of those problems and snags in the road because of the way I live.

Hey, this is my first entry. check out my site at www.geocities.com/ckmgtnr. That'll give you my background. at least a little. More will come out as I write. And I will write. I love to write and I have an opinion about everything, so I have plenty to write about.

First, frustration with computers. My computer has been crashing and blue screening all the time. So, system instability. Typical windows, right? Then I discover it may be hackers. Well, my brother, the computer engineer, tells me it is probably just instability. And then I find out about that dumb blaster virus. And guess what happens right around this time? Virusscan stops instant updating. So tomorrow I get to spend my time figuring all this out when i should be enjoying my last week of summer.

Summer...this has been my best summer ever. I've made tons of new friends and grown so much spiritually. I have grown to realize I can speak out and even though others may not listen right away, my words, or what is behind them, can get through and touch them.