Do I really not believe in love at first sight? I may have experienced it. Of course, I didn't love her the second I met her. But things moved pretty fast. Our relationship has developed and blossomed into something that I believe will bear beautiful, sweet fruit. It's been only eight months now. Eight months! It seems like eternity, yet it seems like only a second ago spoke to me for the first time. So much has happened. It's amazing. Eight months can hold so much. I wonder what the next eight will hold? Or the next year? Eight years? To live until your 50th anniversary and look back must be an awe-inspiring experience. No wonder my grandpa cried so hard on his. He was the toughest farmer out ther, but his heart loved his wife for all it was worth. He loved no other, and he cried when he read her card. He cussed at us, teased us, and poured ice water on our heads. But he loved her. He loved Grandma as few men love their wives. I come from incredible heritage. I just hope I can continue the tradition.

Check out this site: What is God?

This website shows how difficult it is to answer this question. There are so many different ideas of God that I couldn't finish reading the article. But I'm going to attempt my own answer.

I've always found it fairly simple to explain God. He is my Heavenly Father. This belief began a long time ago, in my home, where my parents taught me what they knew of God. It continued through Primary- Sunday School for Mormon kids ages 3 to 11- and wasn't seriously challenged until about eighth or ninth grade. Since then I have done a lot of studying and reasoning. My ideas have not changed, but in fact have been strengthened. God is my Heavenly Father and the literal father of the spirits of all men who have lived, do live and ever will live on Earth. He loves us, cares for us, and sent us here so we could have the ultimate joy- salvation and exultation. The plan of happiness, His plan for us on Earth and afterward, is so deeply entwined in His existence that I'll probably be explaining parts of the Gospel along with my explanation of God.

In the Beginning

So when did God begin? The easy answer is that God is eternal- He has always existed. How can this be? I don't know, but I do know that as mortal, limited beings, we do not live long enough or can we observe enough of this infinite universe to be able to make judgments about whether God or anything can be eternal or not. My own opinion is that time is a dimension similar to the three spatial dimensions. We are stuck in this dimension, only being able to travel in one direction. As an example, imagine a drawing- it is two-dimensional, only being able to travel on one plane. We live in three dimensions- able to exist in multiple planes at a time. God is one step higher, if not more- He can travel through time the same way we can go left or right, back-and-forth, and side-to-side. Now, why does God need to be able to do this? Why can't He live in the same dimensions as us? He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. So be able to control all, see all, and know all, he needs to be able to see past, present and future- something we are not capable of doing. Because God does not live limited by time, He is able to live eternally- time does not affect Him, so He does not age or die.

So God is an eternal being, and He is also omniscient and omnipresent. Ok, but a question often asked is what is God exactly- what is He made of? Does He exist materially as we do? Or is He "everywhere and nowhere" as many religions believe? Most religions claim that the latter must be true, since if God was made of matter, as we are, then He would be limited just as we are. I just showed, however, that if God had mastery over the fourth dimension, He could be omniscient and omnipresent even with a body. He does not have this power because he overcame the limitations of a body, He has this power because He overcame the limitations of time. There's a whole lot more to write, but I have to go.

There are two pieces of literature from which I draw daily inspiration- the scriptures and Calvin and Hobbes. The scriptures help me better understand what it is to be a child of God, while Calvin and Hobbes helps me better understand what it is to be an American youth. I can draw inspired quotes from the comic strip, such as, "Mom knows everything!" and "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game." There are many others. In fact, I've downloaded almost 50 of the strips I've read in the past few months. There are few comic strips with which a person can so easily connect. In only a decade, Bill Waterson was able to capture so much of what it means to live in this world, and all through the eyes of a six-year-old and his pet tiger. What an accomplishment. If I was a great writer I would write some great words, but all I can say is thank you Bill Waterson, though you will probably never read this. Thank you for caring. Thank you for sending your message out into the world, though it is simple and seemingly insignificant. Many overlook comic strips and other simple forms of entertainment because they are simple, but this is folly. Those things which are the simplest carry their message the best and are easiest to understand. And they hold within them much more depth becuase so many people can identify with them. So I thank you Bill Waterson, and all those who are willing to step out and show us that a simple life, without all of today's distractions, is still worth living.

I just finished a play called "Inherit the Wind." I think it was one of the best works of literature I've ever written. It showed how our preconceived notions can be vastly different from the truth and that we must always stand up for free will and the ability to find things out on our own, to reason. Blind faith and relying on the word of others is dangerous. In fact, it is about the most dangerous thing there is out there, because it means giving up what sets us apart- our free will, our ability to think. No other animal is like us. We are distinct and if we do our best to protect that free will, that reason, we will remain distinct. If we give in to animal urges and sacrifice our free will for momentary pleasure, we lose our distinction from the rest of the animal kingdom and we demote ourselves to merely beasts. Being only an animal is not the bad thing. They are also creations of God and deserve respect. The bad thing is giving up our divine birthright- giving up the status as children of God. By becoming like animals we give up the chance to become like God. In doing so we lose the chance to have eternal joy. There is so much more to say, but I need to go to bed. Read the play, it will inspire you.

Well, I gonna forget the whole gay marriage thing for a while. It's getting on my nerves and there really is no easy answer. What ever happens will not depend on me but the legislators we have in office. I hope that they make the right choice.

So my friend Jennifer started a blog called My Life. Check it out at )www.jro6.blogspot.com. She'll actually provide some counter-arguments for some of the stuff i say in here. Should make the blog more interesting, right? If anyone out there actually reads it.

Sowhat do i have to write about? How about the nature of the soul. I read a poem called "Go Down, Death," by James Weldon Johnson (www.poets.org/poems/poems.cfm?prmID=1440), and it really made me think. Something that scientists take for granted is that energy and matter can never cease to exist. Energy will merely become matter and vice versa. So really, they are two forms of the same thing. So what about the spirit? The spirit is what really makes us self-aware and conscious, there is no doubt about that. What is the spirit? That is hard to answer. I cannot prove that it is something more than just the firing of the neurons, but at the same time, I cannot deny that this has to be true. But I digress. The idea is that the spirit is what makes us truly alive. It is what seperates us from inanimate objects. It makes life life. Following this line of reasoning, all life, even germs and plants, have spirits. But once again, that's off the subject. If the spirit exists and is life, and matter and energy cannot be destroyed, how could spirit possibly cease to exist? Life is eternal! Your spirit, the spirit of all living creatures, lives on in eternity and cannot cease to exist. For life to end with death would be breaking the laws of the universe, the laws which have existed for eternity. Many people consider this belief idiotic. But why? Because there is no concrete proof? Lack of evidence is not evidence of lack. Consider this: evolutionists claim that all the fossils they have found prove conclusively that animals evolved. However, consider one branch of the animal kingdom: homonids. The famous missing link, the species that is the bridge between ape and man, has never been found. This is true of every branch of the evolutionary tree. There are gaping holes between all species. No missing links have been found. Also, no man can observe evolution. People tend to treat evolution as hard fact, but this is fallacy. It is merely a set of ideas which best fits the evidence given. I cannot disprove it and in fact, I think it is the best answer that we have explain fossils, but that does not change the fact that there is an abhorrent lack of evidence. But many still believe this theory. So why not believe in God and eternal life? This idea fits so well into the small amount of evidence we have. It also provides answers to mankinds deepest, most challenging questions- who are we? where did we come from? and where are we going? Eternal life, if you have an open mind, makes sense! It is logical! Why should life cease to exist upon death? Why is the world limited to what we see directly. There are so many experiences that people have had which provide proof of a world that is much more vast than what our five senses can detect. I ask that you open your mind and ask questions. Consider, just once, why so many believe in God and Jesus Christ and the gospel. And if you want answers, come to this site: www.lds.org. I will admit that this can be hard to accept and it is not completely logical, it takes a great deal of faith. But it will withstand questioning if you are not looking to tear it down, but to find the truth within it. Much of what I've written I'm sure is a confusing mess. I hope that it makes sense to someone and will touch their heart. I just want to end by saying that I believe in Jesus Christ and that he died for us. I believe in a loving heavenly father who sent his son as a gift that we might return to live with him again. I believe that i am a child of God and I have the potential to become like Him, if i will but obey. I send this message to all those who will read it, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Read Ender's Game

Ok, quick thought: So I was having trouble reconciling the position of my church as supporting the freedom of religion and also supporting legislation that bans gay marriages. But, with the help of my dad, I have been able to make this reconciliation. This legislation doesn't have to do with religion, it has to do with morality. By making laws protecting heterosexual marriages, we are preserving our way of life and our customs. Many argue that morality is relative. I agree with tha, to a point. Many people live higher laws than others, but I think there needs to be a bottom, a basic moral law that nees to be made. Just as murder, theft, slander, and other activities related to harming others, dishonesty, corruption, and many other moral issues are legislated, the matter of marriage should be included. If we are willing to make laws about telling lies, how come we are not willing to make laws about something which can have just as great, if not a bigger effect on people's lives? I believe, and always will believe, that marriage is reserved for a man and woman. I will never support any law which says otherwise.

It's been a while. I was just reading an article on blogs in the NYTimes and it reminded me how long it's been since I've written anything. Well, I'm back. Here's my big idea that I came up with this week. I call it How to Save America and it's based on this premise: the American Empire. I don't know how politically or economically sound my ideas are, but I figure that they're worth putting out there. Here they are:

The American Empire:

Because of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, many people inside and outside the U.S. have called us imperialists and Bush the Emperor who is out rule the world. Now, my views on that absurd view are a completely different story, so I won't get into that. But I have a new crusade that these anti-imperialists and anti-Americans can take up, and many probably already have: not the American military empire, which doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned (think about Japan and Germany), but the American economic empire. This country, for a number of reasons, has become the greatest and strongest economic power in the history of the world. Our companies, which began to grow into gigantic, super-powerful corporations at the beginning of the century, have spread throughout the world. The obvious example is Coca-Cola, which can be found in even the most backwater countries in Africa and Asia. Our economy has grown to the point that the world is dependent on it- if our economy goes down, everyone's economy collapses.

Now, this by itself is an obvious imbalance of wealth and power and is a threat to the world, but another danger is the trade deficit. America imports much of its manufacturing and food, while our greatest exports, as far as I know, are our corporations and money. This is a problem. Other countries become dependent on the American dollar and the American corporation. They basically become a vassal to our economy.

Once again, I have not researched this and am not educated enough to know if this is a valid conclusion, but I think it is true, based on the newspapers, books and tv that I've read and seen.

This economic empire is a danger to America, becuase if our economy collapses, there is no one who will be able to help us because the world will follow us down into depression. It is also a danger to the world for the same reason- they are too dependent on us. There is one more thing which is hurting the U.S. and other countries- immigration. This is a difficult subject, one which both sides have a lot of truth to back up their arguments. But after some time thinking it over and talking it over with my mom, I feel that immigration into the U.S. should be restricted. We are a nation of immigrants and we offer hope to the world with a lack of social classes and the promise of success and freedom, but we are bulging at the seams. California and Florida, two major entry points for immigrants, are bankrupt. The federal government is having difficulty supporting those who come here, because many can't, or won't, support themselves. The money we need to support those who are here is dissappearing because too many are coming who have nothing and add nothing to the nation. We are threatened with economic collapse, with all the consequences I stated above, unless we do something about immigration.

How to Save America

So the nation is in trouble. What do we do? I think there are several steps that we need to take. First, restrict immigration and get things straightened out here at home as much as we can. There are many who will suffer outside the U.S. because of this, but unless we do it, the whole world will suffer. Second, once we've got a good start on our domestic problems, look at the poorer countries in the world, the oppressed countries of the world, the places where the immigrants are coming from, and do what we can to improve their situation. Help them grow economically, bring down dictators and tyrants (we've already got a headstart with Iraq and Afghanistan), and teach them how not to be independent on us. This is something which many will fight. Corporations won't like it. Politicians who desire power won't like it. If we spread the wealth and power, many will feel threatened and will, being the greedy men they are, fight it. Others will fight it becuase it doesn't directly benefit us. It is a long-term and costly project which will help future generations more than us. This, however, isn't about us. it is about the welfare of humanity. Would we rather have the terrorists continue to hate us for the economic empire which they see so much evil in? Would you rather have the France's and Germany's of the world continue to be jealous of us for having so much wealth and power and keeping it to ourselves? Of course, by doing this, terrorism won't end. jealousy won't end. We may be accused of trying to Americanize the world. Well, yes we are. We want to help the world reach our level. When you have a good thing, you don't want to keep it to yourself. In fact, I feel it is wrong to keep it to yourself. But that is what America is doing.

There is my basic idea. There is much more to it, more details, more flaws, more dangers, but I don't have time to type it all. Please respond: ckmgtnr@yahoo.com.

So, just to let people know I'm still alive, I just want to post my feelings about the seasons right now. I'm excited because now we start a month of celebrating one of the most important events in the history of the world- the birth of Christ. The only thing that is more important is His death and resurrection. Happy holidays!

Alright, my sister has challenged me and I have to revisit my last entry. So often what our society considers love at first sight isn't really love. But does it follow that love at first sight never happens? Aren't there examples of couples who within a few days knew that they were in love? I'm sure there are. If there weren't any successful relationships like this, I don't think it would be such a prevelant idea. So what makes love at first sight more than lust? Having such little experience in love, I really have no idea. But I have a feeling it might have something to do with the Spirit of God. Perhaps when there is a relationship that God knows will cause great happiness to His children, He'll kind of push it along through the Spirit. Now, the only way those involved can really know is to pray and fast. What if they don't share my faith? Than I have no idea. I'm glad the only love life I have to worry about is my own, because I have few answers. Alright I better get to my homework.

oh, bytheway, in case anyone actually visits this blog, check out my sister's at www.bethanyp.blogspot.com.

I haven't written for a while. I guess I felt that the blog was stealing stuff that should be in my journal at home. That's more permanent anyway. And who is going to read his blog? Who does? But I sit and write anyway.

Romanticism v. Rationalism...which side do you stand on? Or is it absurd to even consider that you must stand on one side? Who thinks completely rationally and who merely follows their emotions? But if it is a matter of degree, I think I belong to rationalism. I can be a pretty romantic guy, but I follow my thoughts more than I follow my feelings.

Romanticism can be absurd. Take Romeo and Juliet for example. A very Romantic story. But competely irrational. Two people meet, get married, have sex, and then kill themselves, all in three days. Anyone who would throw their life away because of someone they met three days before is mindless. All it is is lust! But there's something to be said for the story too. It keeps us from thinking that life is all about, "What do I get out of it?" Never mind. I don't agree with that. It actually is a very selfish act that they kill themselves. "Oh, I can't go on without her!" Wait a second, would she want you to kill yourself? Not if she really loved you. She would want you to live a long, prosperous life, right? Romeo and juliet are only considering their own feelings. And their "love" is merely lust. That is an undeniable fact. What is love? Love is caring for someone so deeply that you will do anything for them. But loving someone to the point that you want to marry them involves knowing them. And getting to know someone involves something more than kisses, sweet words, and a bed. How many couples on their 50th anniversary tell you that they got married a day after they met? How many successful relationships come from a boy asking a girl to kiss him as soon as he sees her? When you see a girl, or guy, do you automatically see that they have all the qualities needed for a good marriage? Or are you merely attracted to them because of the physical aspect? Isn't it obvious? Why did Romeo "love" Juliet? Because she was beautiful. Physical attraction is lust. And that is all Romeo and Juliet ever felt for each other. They never knew each other. Not mentally or emotionally. Many would argue with me. Why does love have to automatically be associated with marriage? That's simple. Because people mate for life. People who jump from marriage to marriage are not happy. How come depression has increased with the divorce rate? How come suicide rates are up? Our entire society's view of love is based on the ideas of a man who married a woman many years his senior and who was already pregnant. Am I passing judgement and saying Shakespeare was a bad man? I believe that Shakespeare was a product of his times and his station in English life. His own morals are based on those of his society. But that means even more so that our understanding of love should not follow his. Nor on those of our own society. Because many people do, however, many marry for lust and the marriage falls apart. That is the best reason, the most widespread fo the rising divorce rates. Yes there are other factors, considering divorces have been occuring for most of recorded history, but today there are many more and something has to account for this.

The World Trade Center...The sit where the towers stood has become this nations wailing wall. Thousands of people travel there to visit this sight of one of our countries greatest tragedies. How many people have stood at that site and shed tears for the lives and the lifestyle lost on that day?

General Conference...yesterday and today I have been a witness to a historical event. This event, General Conference, is completely unique to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Every six months all the members of the church gather in meetinghouses, homes, and the church Conference Center in Salt Lake City to hear from our prophet and apostles. The meeting, held in the humungous Conference center, which seats something like 12,000, is broadcast over the internet, satellite and cable tv and the radio to most of the world. To those it does not reach in this manner, all the talks of the 5 sessions are printed in church magazines. As far as I know, no other church has its leaders communicate to the entire congregation in this manner. And hearing from the prophet is simply a miracle. Never in the history of the world has there been a time that the church has expanded to all the world. Always the church has been found in isolated areas and would eventually apostatize. Now, the gospel has been taken to every inhabited continent and it will never again be taken from the Earth. General Conference, represents this amazing time in my mind. E-mail me if you have questions.

Friday...is there any possible way to describe what this day means to me? Perhaps not. After a long week of school work and waiting for the weekend, I finally have my night and two days of rest and relaxation. It's so nice to come home and think, "I don't have anything to turn in tomorrow. I don't have to do any homework, no essays, no studying. I can relax and sit back, enjoy a book, write in my blog, go to my cast party...."
The cast party...It's here! The cast party, my last chance to see everyone together again. I'm going to miss the play. The last entry I started with the idea of writing just what this play has meant to me, but I had to stop before I had the chance. Well, I don't want to get into detail of how it affected my personal life, but I will mention what it has done for my faith and belief in the Gospel and those who have gone before me in defending the faith.


It's a clear nght out on the plains by the Arkansas River. Along the waters, the fires of the Mormon Battalion are scattered, reflecting the random pattern of stars above them. A young man sitting beside one fire stares up at the stars, wondering, "Are they out there, looking at these same stars at this same moment?" While he is sitting, pondering this question, one of his companions begins singing,

"Why should we mourn,
or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so, all is right."

One by one, the men sitting around the fire join in,

"Why should we think
to earn a great reward
if we now shun the fight?"

Campfire by campfire, the chorus swells as the song sweeps through the rest of the camp,

"Gird up your loins,
Fresh courage take,
Our God will never us forsake.
And soon we'll have
This tale to tell
All is well
All is well."

Few eyes are dry this night as the men, young and old, think of their families somewhere out on the plains and wonder, "Are they out there, looking at these same stars at this same moment?"


This is my heritage, the Mormon Battalion, the saints crossing the plains. My ancestor, David Pulsipher, if this story were fact, could have been that boy. My family, the family of John Pulsipher, was out there. Zerah and John, as far as I know, were involved in all the major events of early Latter-Day Saint history: Kirtland, Far West, Nauvoo. There example, the way they kept their faith despite all the persecutions and diffuculties, has inspired me.
And, to bring this full circle, I was glad to pay them my respects by being a member of the Mormon Battalion in the play. As an honor to David, I used his name for my character. Being in the play, I spent much of my time reflecting on the experiences of David while he was in the Battalion. That is how I came up with the little story I wrote. Well, time to "gird up my loins" and do the work of my generation. Write me if you've got comments.